Unlikely Hero Part 3: Stolen Virtue

In the name of God I write,

As I write this next entry with fear and trepidation, revealing an ordeal that gave me the strength to accept who I am right now, I was reminded by a dear friend of these powerful words by the famous poet laureate, Maryann Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.
We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."


As we continue with part 3 of The Unlikely Hero, the princess has made a choice to live her life with personal freedom and The Queen has decided to, "Let Go and Let God," regarding her children's decisions. But the question is; can a mother truly let go?

The twins were almost ready for kindergarten and the princess was adamant about giving her children a better life than she had. She removed them from the environment of arguments and resentment and nestled them into a nice little snug apartment, miles away from The Queen's castle. The princess would rather struggle on her own than depend on The Queen to take care of her, and that is what she did. Her and the twins struggled hard without the assistance of The Queen and the lil' princess missed her grandmother dearly. The Queen still made sure that her twins received their spiritual base and kept them in church. The lil' princess felt strong around her grandmother. She believed that everything was alright, as long as grandmother was there. Her grandmother would attend to her feminine needs in ways that the princess might have neglected. And her grandmother gave her the attention that her mother seemed to think she didn't need.

The Queen took great pride in making sure the lil' princess had on her Sunday's best. She made sure that the lil' princess' thick, course hair was pressed and curled before church service. She saw that the lil' princess had her patent leather black shoes to go with her beautiful church dresses. And again, the lil' princess would sit on the front pew and hold her grandmother's Bible, awaiting her to mount the pulpit. In awe, the lil' princess would stare in amazement as this powerful woman of God preached His word. She couldn't believe that this same woman was her grandmother. The woman who comforted her through her little tragedies that seemed like a mountain of troubles. This beautiful dark-skinned saviour who would whisk her away from all the rejection she felt from her mother, the princess.

Even though the princess missed her family, she did not miss the fighting and destructive behaviour her family produced. She was now getting her self together and discovering hidden desires of her own. She found the love of music, and so desperately wanted to pursue it. She wrote poetic prose and melodies that reflected the time of her young adulthood. It was now the early 80's, and music was the escape for most Black people at that time, as well as the princess. This era represented the time of spiritual enlightenment and a re-birth of black consciousness. President Jimmy Carter was going out,and the newly crowned Ronald Regan was being ushered in. And in Chicago, politics was the order of the day. With the first female mayor the city ever elected, Mayor Jane Byrne represented something new and refreshing. Women were getting attention in the eyes of modern society like never before.

Black people felt as though they had no sanctuary with Black leadership being destroyed or divided . We went from closed fist being pumped in the air, Afros and Black military fatigues, to the feminization of the Black man with bell bottoms and men styling their hair with perms and rollers as women did. Something was happening, and Blacks needed a voice to remind them of their birthrite.

Although the Black Power movement of the 60's was now gone, there was still a beacon of hope with one organization that survived that tragic time. With the announcement of the Re-birth of the Nation of Islam, many Blacks were glad that they had someone to stand up for them in leadership. So, although Malcolm had been murdered, the teachings of Elijah Muhammad was being resurrected by his prized student, Louis Farrakhan.

Also, Blacks were getting frustrated with the way things had been with the older generation, and strayed far away from the ways and paths of their parents before them.
We were becoming less of a minority, with the population of Blacks growing from 18.9 million in the 60's to 26.5 million in the 80's. And, although we were growing in numbers, the job rates were still low. Women were coming out of the home as house wives and going into the workforce at an unpresedented rate. Whereas, in the 60's, women raised their children and were married; the 80's reflected a different mindset for most black women. Some women engulf themselve in their jobs and were becoming less dependent on men. During this time many women also became independent of men and more dependent on welfare.

The princess sought this alternative to help compensate for the lack of support from the prince. She relied on welfare to get her through until she could figure things out for herself and her babies. The princess didn't think that her only option for spiritual development was church, so she began to try out other faiths. However, she never felt fully rooted with any particular religion and sought fulfillment through following her desire to become a musician. She began to teach herself the guitar and patterned her look after a famous female Disco group. She enjoyed promoting parties and going to them. She was having fun, so she thought. But, her children needed a mother, and they fell victim to the princess' yearning for the nightlife.

The lil' prince and lil' princess kept trusting in one another and continued to seek solace within themselves. When there was no one that could understand, they understood each other's pain. When one felt that they could not articulate their thoughts, the other would speak up and express what the other was feeling. They had an inner language that no one understood but them. And if you know anything about twins or multiples, they just have a funny way of communicating with each other. It's like they have a language all their own.

The twins got started in preschool down the street from the Queen's castle, at the Queen's request. They were doing good and developing well academically. Yet emotionally, no one really knew their inward battle. The lil' princess, who was once very outgoing, was now shy and timid, and so was the little prince. So much so, that the lil' princess and lil' prince would barely talk to people, even their teachers. The lil' princess avoided asking for anything, even permission to go to the restroom, if she could help it. She was scared of her own shadow, and masked it with a cute little smile on her adorable face. The lil' princess would rarely make friends and refused to talk if you tried to engage her, but no one seemed to mind. No one noticed that something was wrong. The princess was too busy being busy, The Queen was too concerned with business and church affairs and the uncles were too immersed in their owns lives. No one could imagine what terrible thing was lying ahead for the lil' princess.

See, although families have a responsibility towards each other, we sometimes overlook the well being of our children for our own selfish motives. And, so it was with the princess. She spent many nights at parties, but her children spent many nights without a mother to protect them. The princess never would trust anyone with her children so she relied on her family to babysit and hold down the fort until she returned. She depended upon older nieces and nephews to watch her precious jewels, her twins. And, although the twins never complained, because who would care anyway, they continue to be subjected to the mishandling of teenagers with young children. The princess didn't think of how impatient teenager's are with themselves, let alone small children. The princess did not factor in the issues that those she let care for her children may be facing.

So on one unfortunate evening, the princess went out as she usually did and left her two prized possessions in the hands of her young irresponsible nephew who was in his early twenties. The princess never would have imagined that, while enjoying herself on this evening, her daughter's life would be changed forever. The lil' princess, being her quiet and shy self, never felt compelled to tell her mother, because who would care that her older cousin forced himself upon her? Who would rescue her this time? Would it be The Queen? Oh no, because this particular nephew was beloved in her heart and held in high regard in their family. So, who would protect her virtue, no one. No one No one. It was lost at the age of 6 or 7. See, the event was so traumatic that the lil' princess blocked it out of her mind. She assumed this was love, and never felt like being a bother to her family. She just didn't want to rock a boat that already had so many holes.

So, the quiet, shy timid little girl was made that way because of the circumstances that changed her life forever. And she endured this abuse for many years to come.

Now The Queen, being an intuitive woman, knew something was wrong with this baby, but by the time she paid attention, it was too late and she had be marred. The affects of the abuse took a toll on her young soul and she begin to hide her light that once shined so bright. She felt so small, she would pretend that she was invisible. She would minimize her tiny accomplishments. And she loathed attention or any type of recognition. She was ashamed for being alive and she was embarrassed because she was a girl. She was a girl who looked just like her father, and maybe this was the punishment for looking like him. Maybe God was cursing her because of something she did, so she thought. But What she didn't know was that, just like her birth, her abuse was part of God's divine plan for her life.

Once again, the spirit of God spoke to The Queen on behalf of her grandchildren, and once again, The Queen listened. As fate would have it, the princess grew impatient and overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a mother, so The Queen stepped in and allowed the twins to come and stay with her for a while. She knew that her daughter was struggling to raise these children, and she could no longer sit by and watch idly while her grandchildren lacked what they needed. After hearing the news that she was going to live with her grandmother, the lil' princess was happy because she would finally escape from all of the madness and confusion with her mom. The lil' prince missed his mother too much and really didn't wanna go, but he did. In The Queen's house the lil' princess felt good and strong. They prayed together, and this was the moment where the lil' princess was bestowed one of many powers that she would use to help save her people.

The Queen tucked her in bed and said to her child "lil princess, God is gonna work things out, I promise you, now let's pray...The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want..." By the end of the prayer, the lil' princess was fast asleep, and The Queen rested her hands on the girl's small shoulders and began to say her own private prayer. She laid hands on her little girl and prayed for God to intervene in her life. She prayed for God to allow her to accept the calling that her mother rejected, and that God would use her to help His people. She prayed for the angels to protect this mighty little warrior and asked God to allow this child to be a servant. She bequeathed a portion of her greatness onto her granddaughter and initiated the hero that was buried inside within this lil' servant.

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